Spring?

With all of this strange, bipolar weather we have been having I can't help but wonder, is it really Spring? And then I look outside at my Irises. Yep, sure is.

I LOVE this time of year!!

Love

Love

Isn't that a beautiful word?!

What would life be like without it? I can't bare to imagine.

Thankfully, we have it.

I have felt more loved recently than I have in a long time.

I am floored by the outpooring of love that has been shown to me and my family these past few weeks.

First with my miscarriage.

It came in so many forms:

Condolences

Meals

Treats

Flowers

Cards

Phone calls

Sweet Comments

Cakes

Movies

Books

And more

And then it was my birthday and it started all over again:

More treats left on my door step

Cookies

Cupcakes

A yummy lunch

An amazing blog post from my hubby

More sweet comments

Flowers

Cards

Frankly, I am quite overwhelmed, but so very appreciative. It has touched me like nothing has in a very long time. Thank you to all of you who have shown your love to me and my family recently. This has been a month filled with LOVE that I will remember forever!

Happy Birthday Lara!

This is Lee, infiltrating Lara's blog.

I thought that part of her birthday present could be to let any who read her blog know how great I think she is. At the same time, I'm sure you already know.

With Lara, what you see is what you get. There's no masquerade; no front or fakery. She really is as nice and genuine as she seems. I don't believe she knows how to think an evil thought. Her heart is pure and she truly teaches best by example. She is miles ahead of me in terms of BEing good. All I do, I do in hopes that I can become good. She already IS good. And that's what I think I admire most about her - I love her because I see in her what I hope to be someday...and no, that's not just me trying to sound cute - that's the absolute truth.

So, here's to Lara's goodness; her purity of thought; her genuine love for others; her quiet but powerful example. How honored I am to be her husband. How humbled I am to daily look upon in her awe. Lara is a true gem - rubies have nothing on her! (Proverbs 31:10)

Happy Birthday Lara!

*FYI - Don't want to take away from Lara's new post last night. See below...

Those Were The Days

Don't you love going back and looking at old photos? This is one of my favorites. I just had to post it.

My "Poopy" Mother's Day

I usually do not really care for Mother's Day festivities. In the past, I have thought that my husband can read my mind. So when he doesn't read my mind and I don't receive what I was thinking he would (or should) give me, I get upset, but of course I never show it. That is why I don't do Mother's Day really well. I have learned to expect nothing and just enjoy the day with my family. But this year I needed something. I needed to have a good Mother's Day. That is why I told Lee exactly what I wanted. A Cold Stone Cake. That's it. I am a simple gal. I couldn't wait. I was wondering what kind it would be, if I would have to share it with the kids, if I could have a nice big slice while I watched the rest of Pride and Prejudice (Thanks MW).

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I went to bed early Saturday night. I was emotionally drained and overall, tired. As I was laying in bed I heard all of my little elves getting things ready for the next day. I went to bed with a smile on my face, anticipating my yummy cake and the darling homemade gifts from the kids.

*

I woke up thinking I would take a shower and get ready for church before going downstairs. Lee had meetings like he does every Sunday morning, but I had a hunch he and the kids left me something special downstairs. As I was getting ready, Eva came up to inform me that Sonny (one of our cats) had even left me a little gift for Mother's Day. At first I thought, oh how cute that Lee would get me a gift and put Sonny's name on it. Then I realized that it was probably not what Eva meant. She then told me it was a mess and I knew exactly what she meant. My kids tried to explain to me that Dad, thinking he was being helpful, put Monte in the basement the night before and shut the door so that he could not knock over the pretty vase of flowers that Dad got for me. Monte loves flowers and always knocks them over. But Dad forgot the fact that we have two cats that need access to the basement to get to their litter boxes. Sonny could not get to his. To make matters worse the cats were left with no food in their bowls (remember I went to bed early) so I imagine Sonny got pretty hungry during the night and decided that instead of going hungry he would help himself to our tomato plants that were on our table waiting to be planted. I don't think his tummy liked the tomato plants because the "present" he left for me that Eva was talking about was diarrhea and throw up all over my house.

*

So, when I came downstairs I had a huge mess to clean up to say the least. I was fuming! Why in the world would Lee think it was OK to close the basement door? Why couldn't he just put the flowers on the mantle out of Monte's reach? Why didn't anyone notice the cats had no food before going to bed? This giant mess could have easily been prevented with a little common sense. Instead, I was stuck cleaning it all up, on Mother's Day, in my church clothes. As soon as I got to church I was going to let Lee have it!

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When I finished cleaning up I decided to take a look at all the little gifts and cards. Aren't homemade gifts from kids the best thing ever? They were so cute and they even made me a big sign. Then I saw Lee's note. It said the usual Happy Mother's Day, I love you stuff, which for some reason made me even more furious after what I just had to clean up. It also said that he made reservations for The Roof for us, but if he would have took a gander at my planner that was laying open about three feet away he would have noticed we can't go at that time. The note also said to plan on a lobster dinner and creme brule for dessert when he got home after his after church meetings. I have to admit that after hearing about the lobster dinner I almost forgot about the yucky mess. Then I realized the note said nothing about a Cold Stone Cake. How come? And why would he make creme brule if we were going to have cake?

*

I soon realized there was no cake. I ran to the freezer to double check. Sure enough, no cake. How could this be? No cake? That is all I wanted, all I needed!!! Oh, Lee was going to get it. I took the kids to church nice and early so I could have a chance to "talk" to Lee before it started. By the time we drove there I decided I would tone things down and try to just nicely explain what happened. After all, we were at church. Well, Lee saw right through my nice act. He knew I was T-O'd. And then because he happened to be conducting he had the nerve to tell the whole ward what had happened to me that morning. I was done with Lee and his poor choices.

*

As I was sitting there I knew I needed to forgive Lee and realize he really tried to make my Mother's Day nice. It's just that he is not as smart as me and that is of no fault of his own. So I forgave him. I still had my lobster dinner and creme brule to look forward to.

*

Lee came rolling in around 5:30, took out the lobster and thought for a minute. He then asked me how bad I wanted lobster. He said something about it needing to thaw in the fridge for hours and hours. I gave him the "whatever" look and at that point I knew exactly what I wanted to do with that lobster. So instead we had hamburgers. Oh yeah, the creme brule didn't happen either.

*

Now that I have had a couple of days to think about it maybe I was a little hard on Lee. Wait, no, I don't think I was. But I will say this in his defense. He is always the generous and thoughtful one on special occasions. He usually always pulls through. That is one of the reasons why I love him so much. Everyone is entitled to an off day, right? Even if that "off" day was a day I really needed to be an "on" day. Lee rescheduled a date for The Roof and he did make lobster and creme brule the next night for me and it was divine!!! Even though my Mother's Day was a "poopy" one, I still love him and wouldn't trade my hubby for anything...except maybe a Cold Stone Cake.

For The Two Lindas on Mother's Day

These are the two Lindas:

My Mom in Law aka Nani and my Mom aka Grammie.

Aren't they beautiful? I love these women. They both have taught me so much. The first word I thought of when thinking about these amazing women is strong. They both have had their fair share of trials in life. Yet they have always persevered and come out on top. They have led very different lives and although they both might complain about their aching bones and how their getting old, they are still among the strongest women I know.

Nani lost her sweetheart over four years ago. We worried about her and wondered if she would be OK on her own. Well, she showed us that there was nothing to worry about. She has done so well. She has spent her whole life using her sewing and cooking talents to help those in need and continually goes to the temple to serve. She has a giving heart. She has raised 9 kids, one of them being Lee. For her to have done such a good job raising Lee, she has got to be quite an amazing woman, right? Well, she is. I will be forever thankful to her for one of the best gifts I have ever received-My hubby.

Grammie has had plenty of reasons to say "Why Me?". Yet I have never heard those words come out of her mouth. She is so positive and thinks of every day as a blessing. Her whole life has been spent doing things for others and she wouldn't have it any other way. That is one of the things I love most about her. Everything that is good in me, my mom put there.

I love these women and am so thankful for their neverending examples of goodness and strength.

Happy Mother's Day, Nani and Grammie!!

and thank you for the beautiful gifts...I will send pictures.

Not Meant To Be

Tomorrow I am going in for a D & C.

I knew it.

I knew things were not quite right with my pregnancy.

I am grateful for Mother's intuition.

I went in to get checked out.

There was nothing to see on the ultrasound.

But my body still thinks I am pregnant.

I could have gone for months like this.

Of course, I am disappointed.

However, things happen.

I was prepared because I "just knew".

I am glad it happened now and not later.

My kids are rocks.

I tried to help them understand.

They know it will still happen.

It just will take a little longer.

But it will be worth the wait.

We are so excited for that day.

I am so thankful for this experience.

It helped me realize just how excited I am to have another baby.

The Best Book I Have Ever Read

Are you in need of a good read?

Well even if you aren't, I have a book that you MUST read. I am not exaggerating when I say it was the best book I have ever read. It was so good that I am still thinking about it and it has been two weeks. When I finished the book I just sat and cried. I cried because it was sad. I cried because it was moving. I cried because I didn't want it to end. I have read several books since and I can't stop wishing I were still reading this one. It is called the Book Thief!

This book is a Nazi Germany historical fiction. That is all I will say about it because you MUST get off the computer this instant and go get this book. Put whatever book you are reading on hold because The Book Thief cannot wait!

As soon as you read it you have got to tell me what you think. I'll be waiting...

Positive

Well people, after three negative pregnancy tests, it turns out I am pregnant after all. Man, all this up and down stuff has really been playing with my emotions. It was cute and exciting at first. Now I am thinking "What have we done?" I know that is just a stage. Don't get me wrong, I am actually very excited. But I am nervous about announcing it so soon. I just knew that we could not keep it from Emma even if we tried. That girl has a knack for knowing every one's business. And once we told our kids it would be out in a flash. So, we are announcing it with me being only 5 weeks along.

Here is how we told the kids:

We called for a family council and asked them what they thought we were going to discuss. They all thought we were going to talk about a summer trip to Cali. Then Eva blurted out, "You're having a baby!" I paused for a minute, trying not to acknowledge what she just said. I mentioned that I actually had some bad news. This bad news would effect either Ben or Ella. I said that one of them is going to have to share a room with a new baby pretty soon.

They all started screaming and shouting for joy. It was a moment I will remember forever. I glanced over at Ben and noticed he wasn't participating. He just had a blank stare on his face. I asked him what he was thinking and he proceeded to tell us with a heavy, quivering lip. "What if it's another girl?"

I told him that was a possibility, but to think about Beau. Beau is his cousin who has four sisters and no brothers. I reminded Ben that when Beau found out about Sadie being a girl he cried and cried and was heartbroken. But now he loves Sadie and wouldn't trade her for anything. If it is a girl, at least he'll have Beau to lean on.

Ella has already told me her opinions for names if it's a girl. Brittany or Ethany. I am surprised her choices aren't Kaypree or Kaisha.

Emma's hoping for either twins or a baby with special needs.

Eva just can't stop smiling and saying "I can't believe your pregnant!"

Lee, of course, is THRILLED!

Now, I just have to wrap my mind around the fact that it is going to be a Christmas baby...

Rut Be Gone

I just remembered something that has helped me get out of my rut. How could I forget such a thing?

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While I may be a chubby, crippled, babyless, slob, I was the school tetherball champion in third grade. Noboby - I mean nobody - can take that title away from me. I know you all were worried sick about me. You can now rest assured that I have found my mojo once again.