HateSacs

Do you remember my post from last month about how my creative kids made some ordinary plastic bins into comfy chairs? Click here to see it again. They loved those plastic bins/comfy chairs. It was proof to me that we don't need to spend an arm and a leg to make our kids happy.

Apparently Lee did not see that post because the other day I came home to find Lee unloading two GINORMOUS LoveSacs from our van. I can't believe they fit. The kids were screaming like it was the best day of their lives and I was left speechless. What happened to the plastic bin idea?

The kids, of course, love them. I, on the other hand do not. They are big and ugly and take up the whole family room. They are so big you can't just lift them to vacuum under them. They are big, beige blobs.

Lee at least had 1/2 a brain when he made this decision and bought them used. So they didn't cost an arm and a leg...just a leg, which is still more than I care to be parting with. We could have bought like four large sized trees for the same price. Have you seen our yard? We need trees!

They are comfy, I will give them that. Even more comfy then those plastic bins. But can I get over their uglyness? Probably not. They would make a great addition to any basement. Since our basement is not finished and I don't feel like having big, beige blobs as the focal point of our family room, we will be putting them back up for sale.
Lee has admitted that it probably was not the smartest decision he has ever made to purchase them and agrees that we could really use that money on other, more important things. So, any takers? If you know anyone who would like to purchase 1 beige MovieSac and/or 1 greenish beige SuperSac we'd love to sell you them.

Decision Time

These are my babies...

...and oh, I love them so. They melt me, even now that they are getting so big. But I do have to say that I just can't imagine having any more. Here are some reasons why:

• We only have 6 matching Christmas stockings and holders. We'd have to get a whole new set.

• We only have room for 4 bar stools around our island. #5 would have to sit all by itself somewhere else.

• We gave all our baby stuff away...everything!

• I have waited 10 years to have all my babies in school. That day has come. I would be totally starting over.

• I have really enjoyed being able to run errands and exercise by myself while the kids are at school.

• The thought of having another one makes me physically ill.

• I turn into Jabba the Hut when I am pregnant. It is not a pretty sight. Lee pretty much has to roll me around whenever I have to go somewhere.

• All the crying and all the not knowing why their crying, all the sleepless nights...

• I am not getting any younger.

• I had it all planned out that I would be done having kids by the time I turned thirty. I want to be a young grandma. I did it. I had #4 one week after I turned twenty nine. Now I am thirty three. It would just mess up my whole plan.

• The thought of possibly having a fourth girl that I would have to fight to do her hair makes me cringe.

• We simply cannot afford it!

• I know that some of these are silly but on a serious note, on most nights I go to bed thinking of all the ways I failed as a mother that day. My mental list is usually pretty long. I have a picture in my head of the "ideal" mom and I am far from her. If I am already failing miserably what would #5 do to me?

For all these reasons and more I feel like there is just no way that I can have another baby. My husband however, and possibly even my Heavenly Father, are telling me otherwise. In Lee's defense he REALLY wants more kids but recognizes it is up to me. Also, I have received some personal experiences that lead me to think that I am supposed to have more kids and I have tried really hard to dismiss them as nothing. What do I do? For cryin out loud, isn't four enough?!

I understand that once I had the baby I would love it and I would wonder why it was ever such a hard decision to make. I also know that my Heavenly Father knows me way better than I know myself. So why is it still such a hard decision? I just don't know that I can do it. This has been consuming my every thought lately. What to do...

Comfy?

Who needs big expensive LoveSacs when you've got nice comfy plastic bins?

My Trip To The ER

I used to watch ER before it was cancelled. They painted a very glamorous picture of what life was like behind those automatic doors. Cute doctors dating beautiful nurses, working together to save lives. People dying, only to be brought back minutes before the end of the show. Gun shot wounds, stabbings, limbs being reattached...you name it, those doctors could take care of it. It was so heroic of them. And they had a good sense of humor, often laughing and joking with the patients as they were stitching them back up. So when I went to the ER on Wednesday that is what I was expecting.

I thought I was going to die early Wednesday morning. The pain in my stomach was so severe I was actually hoping I would just die. This isn't the first time this has happened to me. Within the last six months or so I have had a few of these episodes. The first one had pain, lots of sweating and a little passing out to top it off. The next one I was able to feel coming. I quickly laid down, braced myself, and endured it. Both were sudden and didn't last too long. This one was different. It was sudden but it lasted forever. I remember, after praying to die, thinking that I should wake up Lee. I don't know if I then passed out or miraculously fell back asleep but the next thing I know I was being woken up by the alarm. The pain had subsided but I noticed my breathing was a little weird. It got harder and harder for me to breathe. I started getting worried. I coupled that with some other yucky things that have happened to me lately and really started to panic. I made Lee take me to the ER.

Once we got there, and even though I was weak and not breathing well, there were still certain questions going through my mind...

How cute is my doctor going to be?

Is he having a relationship with my nurse?

Are there going to be people sprawled out and dying in the waiting room?

Am I going to have blood splattered on me by the guy next to me's severed hand?

Will they have to close down the ER because of a bomb threat?

...You know, typical questions and concerns.

I am sad to report that my experience was nothing like the TV show. Here is how my trip to the ER went...

I walked right in. No wait. No people in hysterics in the waiting room. The not so beautiful nurse took some blood and then some more blood. The not so cute doctor came in and told me I was breathing funny because I was hyperventilating, probably a panic attack. That's a little different than a heart attack which is what I was thinking I was having. He gave me some medicine to calm me down. He also told me I had a very soft belly. Supposedly that was supposed to be a good thing, but I beg to differ. I quickly drifted into la la land and a few hours later they woke me up, gave me some pain medicine for the road and told me I could go.

That's it? No neighbor with a blood splattering missing limb? No one dying? No bomb threat? What kind of ER did I go to? I have to admit though that I AM still wondering if the not so beautiful nurse is dating the not so cute doctor.

The good news is that I feel recovered and just about ready to conquer the world once again. My blood work looked fine and they don't think there is anything seriously wrong. To play it safe I have to go see a Gastroenterologist and maybe even have a scope shoved down my throat and a colonoscopy to rule some serious things out. Oh joy! I can't WAIT for that. The one thing I CAN wait for is having to go back to that stupid, boring, disappointing ER.

I must add that the doctor and nurses were very nice and they took very good care of me and I am very thankful for them. I had a nice experience for my first time in the ER, even if it was a little bit of a disappointment. :)

Amazing Emma

Emma talked fairly early in life. Before she was two she was carrying on full conversations with people. Her gum obsession started about that same time too. The problem was that she would always swallow it. I would tell her over and over again "Doooon't swallow it". This became quite the ritual until she started telling me. I'd say "Emma", and then she'd finish my sentence by saying, "doooon't sollow it!"

Emma loved going places. No matter where we went, she'd have fun. When it was time to leave I'd let her know. Her reply was always the same, "No Mom, petty soon!"

When I think of Emma as a toddler those two phrases come to mind instantly. They remind me that her spunky little attitude has been with her since day one.

As I watch her grow up, her talents amaze me. Not only does she still have the talent for talking and chewing gum like no other, she has a talent for dancing. Her dance teacher recently told me that it seems like a lightbulb has gone off in Emma's head. She gets it now. Before this year, she'd be in class and kind of get a glassed over stare or get distracted very easily. This year she is way more focused and is really enjoying it. She even took a ballroom dance class last semester at her school and LOVED it...

This is Emma dancing the Meringue. Can't you see the focus on her face?

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Another talent she has is her leadership ability. One day, she had the idea to organize a "Craft Days" class for the neighbor kids. She made announcements and passed them out, planned activities, set up a little class in our basement, she even spends her own money if she needs supplies. I have not helped her one bit. She loves it and so do the kids. More and more kids keep getting added to the list. I think we are up to about 13 now. Everyone looks forward to Craft Days and it has been so good for her.
Story Time



I know this picture is blurry, but I thought it was cute. I love how she included a centerpiece for one of the tables. This girl does not scrimp on the details.

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Another talent I have enjoyed seeing Emma discover is her LOVE for children. She is drawn to them like she is drawn to candy. She loves to play with little ones. She loves to hold little ones. She just loves little ones. And the cutest part about it is that they LOVE her right back. I wonder if she could be the child whisperer.

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These talents are just a few of the talents Emma has discovered lately. I am sure there will be many more in the future. I can't wait to know what they may be. I am her biggest fan. I love you, Emma!

The Queen Of Always

Have you ever said that you would NEVER do something only to find yourself doing that very thing later on in life? I have been the Queen of Nevers for quite some time. Always thinking to myself, "I would never do this", or "I would never do that". Well, I am finally realizing that I just need to omit that word from my vocabulary altogether. Here is why:

• When I was a teenager I always heard that Utahns were very strange, that they were way behind in music and fashion and just kind of all around dorky. I swore that I would NEVER move to Utah. Fast forward to today and we are currently in our ninth year in Utah and have loved every day of it. We have no desire to live anywhere else and are proud to be considered a "Utahn", even if it makes us dorky.

• When I became pregnant with our first child I hurried up and read every book imaginable on how to parent. Then I would be out in the real world watching moms with their kids and that "N" word would manifest intself on a regular basis. I would say things like "I will NEVER give my child a pacifier right after it had fallen on the floor." "My child will NEVER throw a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store." "I will NEVER give my child sugary fruit snacks because their teeth will rot." Well friends, I would be lying if I said those things NEVER happened.

• I could NEVER understand why all moms got minivans after they had children. Minivans were always so unstylish to me. Once again, I swore I would NEVER get a minivan. Today, not only do I have a van, but it's a full sized one at that. It is probably the most unstylish automobile in existence. I have learned that sometimes practicality beats out style. Actually, in my life, practicality always beats out style. And for the record, I now think minivans are very stylish.

• As my children got older I swore I would NEVER get any type of video game system. I knew that they rotted kids brains. Today we have two video game systems and three Nintendo DS'. So much for THAT never.

• I also once said that I would NEVER go brunette. We all know that one didn't stick either.

• One more...I have never liked country music and told myself that I NEVER would. Well, I am actually admitting that I have been enjoying a few songs of the country genre as of late. I have to actually justify this one because I feel that country music is way more rock and roll than it used to be. FYI, Carrie Underwood's "Temporary Home" gets me every time. I cannot listen to that song without crying like a baby.

As I have been typing this up I have realized how negative it sounds to always be focused on Nevers. I know I am not the only person in this world who has had things like this happen to them. I totally want to hear some of your NEVERs., but my question is this-

Why don't we focus more on the positive and say things like, "Look at how she acts with her children. I want to ALWAYS be like that." or "I can't believe how much he smiles. I want to ALWAYS smile like he does." or "I promise I will ALWAYS be happy."

I already know that you all are way more on the ball than me. I also know that my list of NEVERS is way bigger than my list of ALWAYS.

Instead of being the Queen of Nevers, I hope to one day be the Queen of Always.

All Things Eva

My little Eva is growing up right before my eyes. She is turning into one special little lady. Although I am sad to see her get older, I have never been more proud of her. Here are few things she has been up to:

This school year Eva participated in the Reflections contest. The theme was "Beauty Is..." She submitted two entries, one in photography and one in musical composition. She got trophies in both categories too! She did an awesome job. This is the picture she took that won her her trophy in photography...

She also composed a song on the piano that she worked hard on. That trophy winning masterpiece is too long of a video to post so I will have to record her again and just include a portion of it. That will be in a future post. Your talents inspire me, Eva!

A few weeks ago Eva also decided she was ready to get her ears pierced. She looks beautiful, doesn't she?!

Yesterday, our little D'Eva D got braces. I absolutely love her new smile! I know her teeth have been very sore but she has been quite a trooper. I am proud to say that I am surviving as well. It has been hard for me to see her go through all the poking and prodding that comes with getting braces. We are hoping only six to nine months for round one and then round two, about a year later, should only be for a year or so.


Every week I help in her class and every week her teacher has new things to tell me about why she loves Eva. She is really excelling this year and she thrives in every environment she is in, including dance. New to her dance repertoire this year is Jazz which she is thoroughly enjoying.

Keep up the great work Eva! We love you!

New Year, New Look Results

As I said, I have never, in all my 33 years of existence been a brunette. I had to do it at least once, right? And I must say, it's "growing" on me already!

P.S. - Tonight Ella prayed that everyone would like my new "hair look".

How cute is that?!

New Year, New Look

I figured I would start this new year out with a new look. So on Monday I am doing something I have NEVER in my life done before. I am very nervous and excited at the same time. It's going to be a surprise, but one thing I CAN tell you is that it probably won't be anything like this...

Wish me luck!!

Perfect

...I don't know how else to describe the past few weeks. I truly feel so blessed and so fortunate to have my life. I don't know what I ever did to receive such an amazing gift. There was happiness in abundance this holiday season.

Ben's little first grade class put on a darling program for the parents. He had some cute parts but this part stole my heart...

Did you see that look he gave me after he blew me a kiss? I love him!

Santa visited our ward party this year. All our kids (except Eva) couldn't wait to have a turn on his lap...

I think Eva was a little wierded out by the idea. I don't blame her.

On Christmas Eve Eve we went to my brothers house for soup and scones and a highly entertaining variety show. I am really hoping that becomes a tradition. It was top notch entertainment.

On Christmas Eve they came to our house, as well as my Mom and Dad. We had a feast and reenacted the variety show for my parents. All the cousins opened up their jammies...

...and they also performed an impromptu "1st Christmas". I got such a kick out of what they came up with to wear. They are so creative...

Lee also played a few songs on the guitar for us all, one of which he wrote last year. If you would like to hear it go HERE.

We all know that Lee is usually the one to surprise me. Well, I am proud to say that this year I turned the tables. I couldn't wait any longer and made him open my present on Christmas Eve. He had no idea I was getting something for him.

I got him a sweet ukulele, real koa wood and all. To say he was surprised doesn't do it justice. He immediately started playing it. He has already written several songs and I LOVE hearing Somewhere Over The Rainbow on the ukulele. So beautiful! Lee's musical talents bring me so much joy!

Before the night was over Lee read the kids "The Night Before Christmas" which is one of the traditions in our home...

My parents stayed the night which was so fun to have them there for Christmas morning. Although this year wasn't really about Christmas morning for us, the kids were able to open some really nice gifts which made them very happy. The biggest hit of the morning was the Wii they have been dying to get. Nani, and Grammie and Papa made that one possible and the kids have really been enjoying it, although they haven't been glued to it which is another reason why I love my kids so much.

I think the only thing that could have made this Christmas season better was if we could have seen my brother Eric and his family and Lee's family as well. We REALLY missed them all.

For New Year's, Lee and I dropped the kids off at Grammie and Papa's and we headed up to Idaho Falls. We wanted to get away and decided to take Nani up on her offer. She loves the Idaho Falls Temple and has been wanting us to take a visit up there. We were lucky enough to get a hotel room with this view...

Unfortunately, it had just snowed a ton so we weren't able to view the beautiful Snake River which flows right next to the temple. That just means that we will have to go back in the Spring.

The Idaho Falls Temple in all its wintery glory!

Since the temple was closed on New Years, we went out to dinner and hit a double header at the movies. We saw Blindside and Avatar 3D. I would highly recommend both movies.

The next morning we got up early and spent the whole morning in the temple doing work for both sides of our family. It was absolutely the perfect way to start the new year. Thank you Nani and Grammie and Papa for making that possible.

Here are a few pictures of what the kids did while we were away...

They made snow cones fresh from the backyard

They built a cute little snowman

And of course, they went sledding.

This girl has no fear

Ben is so happy!

The older girls apparently decided to try the off road sledding option.

On top of all of the holiday goodness we experienced, I also received a new calling. I am the new Nursery Leader for our ward and couldn't be more excited. I have been sad that Ella is getting so big and we no longer have any little ones around. I now have thirty seven (and counting) little ones to fill that void. I come home exhausted every Sunday, but it is very rewarding at the same time.

I think the cherry on top of our holiday sundae is the fact that Lee's company is finally realizing just how vital he is to their success. It has been so frustrating for me to sit and watch Lee work his fingers to the bone for pennies. Things are turning around and we are beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel. It may not be immediate but his future there looks very bright!

2009 was a crazy roller coaster year for us. But through it all we learned so much and grew spiritually, more than we ever thought possible. And for that I am so thankful. I truly feel like life could not get more perfect at the moment. I don't know how long it will last but I will treasure every moment.