My Trip To The ER

I used to watch ER before it was cancelled. They painted a very glamorous picture of what life was like behind those automatic doors. Cute doctors dating beautiful nurses, working together to save lives. People dying, only to be brought back minutes before the end of the show. Gun shot wounds, stabbings, limbs being reattached...you name it, those doctors could take care of it. It was so heroic of them. And they had a good sense of humor, often laughing and joking with the patients as they were stitching them back up. So when I went to the ER on Wednesday that is what I was expecting.

I thought I was going to die early Wednesday morning. The pain in my stomach was so severe I was actually hoping I would just die. This isn't the first time this has happened to me. Within the last six months or so I have had a few of these episodes. The first one had pain, lots of sweating and a little passing out to top it off. The next one I was able to feel coming. I quickly laid down, braced myself, and endured it. Both were sudden and didn't last too long. This one was different. It was sudden but it lasted forever. I remember, after praying to die, thinking that I should wake up Lee. I don't know if I then passed out or miraculously fell back asleep but the next thing I know I was being woken up by the alarm. The pain had subsided but I noticed my breathing was a little weird. It got harder and harder for me to breathe. I started getting worried. I coupled that with some other yucky things that have happened to me lately and really started to panic. I made Lee take me to the ER.

Once we got there, and even though I was weak and not breathing well, there were still certain questions going through my mind...

How cute is my doctor going to be?

Is he having a relationship with my nurse?

Are there going to be people sprawled out and dying in the waiting room?

Am I going to have blood splattered on me by the guy next to me's severed hand?

Will they have to close down the ER because of a bomb threat?

...You know, typical questions and concerns.

I am sad to report that my experience was nothing like the TV show. Here is how my trip to the ER went...

I walked right in. No wait. No people in hysterics in the waiting room. The not so beautiful nurse took some blood and then some more blood. The not so cute doctor came in and told me I was breathing funny because I was hyperventilating, probably a panic attack. That's a little different than a heart attack which is what I was thinking I was having. He gave me some medicine to calm me down. He also told me I had a very soft belly. Supposedly that was supposed to be a good thing, but I beg to differ. I quickly drifted into la la land and a few hours later they woke me up, gave me some pain medicine for the road and told me I could go.

That's it? No neighbor with a blood splattering missing limb? No one dying? No bomb threat? What kind of ER did I go to? I have to admit though that I AM still wondering if the not so beautiful nurse is dating the not so cute doctor.

The good news is that I feel recovered and just about ready to conquer the world once again. My blood work looked fine and they don't think there is anything seriously wrong. To play it safe I have to go see a Gastroenterologist and maybe even have a scope shoved down my throat and a colonoscopy to rule some serious things out. Oh joy! I can't WAIT for that. The one thing I CAN wait for is having to go back to that stupid, boring, disappointing ER.

I must add that the doctor and nurses were very nice and they took very good care of me and I am very thankful for them. I had a nice experience for my first time in the ER, even if it was a little bit of a disappointment. :)