With Thanksgiving coming up I wanted to take a moment to share a couple of experiences that have happened to our family recently that I am so grateful for. I don't wish to share them because I think my family is great. I hope that by posting these very personal experiences I may instill a renewed sense of Faith and Hope to someone who may need it.
This past summer Lee was laid off. We were not prepared for it. Who really is? We were still trying to recover from the past few years that have been a struggle for us financially. We had no idea how long it would take Lee to find something else. With the economy the way it was I feared the worst.
I immediately decided I would put a resume together and start looking for a job to help bring in some income. I was scared, but excited at the same time. All my kids were finally going to school all day. I felt now was a good time. I started to wonder who in the world would hire me, someone who hadn't worked outside the home in 13 years. But I pressed forward knowing I had no other option. It took me a week to put a decent resume together but I did it. And then THE PERFECT job came along. It would be working full time at a school as a reading counselor. I LOVE reading! The hours would be perfect. I would be home when my kids got home from school! I'd have the same holidays off as my kids. It really could not have been any more perfect for me.
I was called in to interview for this position and I thought things went great. It was almost too good to be true. The principal told me there were over 100 people applying for 8 positions and she would call me within the next day or two. I felt my chances of getting hired were slim but I remained hopeful.
That night, the more I thought about the job the worse I felt and I didn't understand it. It was the perfect job! Why would I feel bad about it? Was I just worried about going back to work? I wasn't sure.
I decided I would go to the temple the next morning. I needed to feel peace. While in the temple I had some thoughts...thoughts I know were not my own. These thoughts were that I already had a job and I needed to remember that my job as being a mother is a holy calling, one that I should never take lightly. I also thought that I had some room for improvement in this job. Although I get to stay home all day, I still need to treat it as a job. I need to plan my day, taking a lunch break, not wasting any time watching TV and eating bon bons. I need to provide an environment where my children can thrive.
As I was having these thoughts, I thought to myself, "But who am I to not try to help my husband out during this difficult time?" My answer was this...By magnifying this calling/job of being the best mother I can be, I will be helping my husband (and children) out far more than if I got a job outside the home, that this would be a blessing to my husband and he would see more success in the workplace because of it.
I have great admiration for mothers who have to work. I am in no way suggesting they should stop. I guess it just wasn't right for me.
As Lee and I drove home from the temple I told him my thoughts. We agreed that I knew what I needed to do. As soon as I got home I emailed the school principal and told her I wished to withdraw my application. Apparently she didn't get the email because the next day she called me to offer me the job. After I hung up with her I cried. Was I doing the right thing by turning it down? I had made my decision. I now had to have the faith that all would be well.
After the next couple of weeks or so I began to doubt. Lee wasn't going to many interviews. Maybe I should have taken that job. Deep down I knew I made the right decision, I had to continue to have faith. One thing I have learned through our trials in life is that no matter what, we can get through it. Surrendering my will over to my Heavenly Father and letting him take charge makes my burdens lighter. I know without a doubt that my Heavenly Father knows our situations and wants the best for us. Because of that knowledge I am ok with going through some yuck in order to get the life my Heavenly Father wants me to have.
I think it was a month or so after Lee was laid off, we as a family decided to fast for Lee to be able to find a job. I need to explain something before I go on. Fasting is hard for us, especially on the kids. They would rather be tortured...in fact they think fasting IS a form of torture. We explained to the kids that we needed their faith in this fast. I think Heavenly Father hears and answers the prayers of our pure, innocent children faster sometimes than us stubborn adults. We took a giant leap of faith and told them that if we all fasted and prayed for Dad to get a job that week, and had the faith that it could happen, it would. Even little Ella agreed to it. I know it was so hard for her. I think I wanted this to work more for my kids to be able to gain a testimony of fasting than Lee actually getting a job.
That week Lee had more interviews than ever. One particular company called him back three times and the week ended with things looking really promising. That next Monday, Lee was offered the job!
I do a lot of things wrong as a mother, so I am especially thankful for experiences like this. My kids now have a testimony of fasting. While it is still a challenge for them, they will never deny that their prayers were answered that week. Not only did Lee get a job, it's the best job he's ever had with the most potential.
I have no doubt our Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers. We just need to remember to have faith that through Christ, anything can happen. Miracles didn't cease to happen in biblical times. They continue to happen every day...even to simple folk like the Ziebarth family.
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