May21, 2011
Where do I even begin? I am sure most people are sick of hearing about my marathon by now but I have to document it so I don't forget just how amazing this day was for me. This marathon was truly the most challenging thing I have ever done. The race was the easy part. It was everything leading up to the big day that was so extremely difficult.
As far back as I can remember I have wanted to run a marathon. I grew up going to races that my dad and uncle would enter and caught the spirit of it all. I saw the determination and sense of accomplishment in the eyes of everyone that crossed the finish line. I knew it was something I wanted to experience one day. Then life happened. I got married. Then I got pregnant four times over. Then I was taking care of four babies all under six. I was very overwhelmed but I still knew that one day I would do it. After Ella (my fourth) was born I decided I would get in shape and train to run a marathon. I didn't get to six miles in my training and my hip started hurting. I began having to go to an orthopedic surgeon. I went for months, maybe even years, undergoing lots of tests and injections, always to see him stare at me blankly not knowing what was wrong. Finally, he suggested surgery. I was ecstatic! Finally he would go in and see what had been causing me all my pain. It turns out I had a ton of scar tissue that had built up and all he did was clean me out and tune me up but it wasn't until a few months after my surgery that I began to forget about my hip. I realized it hadn't been bothering me. I even ran a half marathon with no hip issues. But during the training for the half marathon is when I began to notice shin splints creeping into my legs. I was determined to run the half so I just pushed past the pain. It was awful, but I did it. I felt such a feeling of accomplishment. I had come so far! I knew then, more than ever that I wanted to run a full 26.2.
Way back in October I signed up to run the Ogden Marathon. I did so with a little apprehension knowing that I may not be able to physically do it. I had been battling shin splints for years now. I decided if there was any way that I was going to run this race I would need to get the proper help. I started seeing a podiatrist and a physical therapist. I was confident they would help me fix what was broken and then I could get on with my training. Months went on and a lot of money was spent. I felt unsure about my progress. I wasn't convinced everything I was doing was helping. I would try to run here and there, just a couple of miles, and I would feel the same pains as in the beginning. There was a point when I even noticed things getting worse. I went back to the podiatrist and he ordered an MRI. The results were not good. He said I have a "precursor" to a stress fracture and I cannot run on it for fear that it would turn into a full fledged stress fracture which would mean the marathon would not happen. He told me I could only cross train for six weeks and then we would see how it felt. I was nervous because I was supposed to start my training and I couldn't, but my doctor told me not to give up just yet, so I stayed positive.
I had never been a huge gym-goer. In fact I had only gotten a membership a couple of months before and was still feeling very intimidated by the environment. But I would go if it meant being able to run this race. So I was very faithful and went to the gym as often as I could.
Six weeks came and went. I hadn't felt much in terms of pain for a while so I was feeling optimistic. I decided to try to go for a little run. Not even a mile into my run I felt my leg hurting. I tried to push on but it just kept getting worse and worse. That was a dark day for me. In fact that whole week was dark. I quit. There was no way I was going to be able to do this. Who was I kidding? I stopped going to the physical therapist and the podiatrist. I cried many tears that week. My body had betrayed me. I had to give up on my dream.
One night, as I was preparing to go to bed, I had a thought. "You know, you can still do this." I entertained the thought for a moment in my mind and then quickly dismissed it. Impossible. How can I run 26.2 miles with two bad legs? The next morning I got an instant message on my computer from Lee. "You know you can still do this." Lee had no idea about my thought the night before. Was it a coincidence that he thought to tell me the exact same words that I was thinking the night before? Absolutely not! At that moment I knew what I had to do. I had to run this marathon!
I decided I would cross train my whole way to the marathon. My hope was that it would give my injury time to heal and at the same time build up my endurance. It was my last ditch effort. I calculated the time I would normally be running in my training and made sure I put that amount of hours in at the gym plus a little more to compensate for my lack of running. I had 9 weeks til the marathon. In those 9 weeks I put in 92 hours at the gym and burned close to 100,000 calories! Who knew that little old me could spend sometimes 4 and 5 hours at the gym and be on the elliptical for 2 hours at a time? At least I knew that if this marathon thing didn't end up happening I was getting in shape.
One other thing that I know was critical to my being able to pull this off was staying close to my Heavenly Father through prayer. I knew I absolutely could not pull this off on my own. I committed myself to daily scripture study no matter what and a few other personal goals. I wanted HF to know that I was serious and I had to have complete, unwavering faith that as long as I did all that I possibly could, HF would carry me the rest of the way.
I remember one night early on in my training when my leg was sore and I was beginning to doubt my abilities. I decided to pull out my Patriarchal Blessing and read it in an effort to find something, anything to give me some encouragement. What I found forever changed my life. I have read that piece of paper dozens of times and never did I remember reading one particular sentence that gave me the strength and courage to continue. I encourage everyone who has a Patriarchal Blessing to take it out and read it regularly. Don't ever let it collect dust.
In the days leading up to the marathon I was getting really nervous. Was I really going to be able to do this? Was I going to get to the 3 mile marker and have to quit? I had no idea what to expect. I was an emotional wreck to say the least. On top of all that, we knew Lee would be called to be the next bishop of our ward the very next day. To say that I was an emotional wreck was actually very much an understatement.
My alarm clock went off at 3:30am and I jumped out of bed. I was as ready as I was going to be. I even bought a cute little outfit just for the occasion. I will never forget the feeling that came over me when the race started. Was I really going to do this?
Let's just say the race didn't start off exactly like I had envisioned. A stampede of people began passing me. It was not very motivating. And then my cute little (expensive) running skirt that I bought just for the occasion starting riding up and bugging the you know what out of me. I ended up ditching it before mile 2. So there I was, in all my spandex/flabby glory. I even dropped my ipod several times. But I kept telling myself, "Just get in your zone". And that's what I did.
I've heard about some people hallucinating in marathons. I was beginning to wonder if that was happening to me because I kept hearing Lee's voice calling my name. Was I going crazy already? I wasn't even to mile 7. Then I realized he was on my ipod. Lee had put little messages on my ipod without me knowing. How sweet is that?! Every once in a while he would come on and tell me how much he loved me and that I could totally do this. I loved it! Remember when I said that I would pray for Heavenly Father to carry me if times got tough? This was the first answer to that prayer. Lee's voice carried me for miles.
Right around mile 9 another runner came up to me and started talking to me. At first I was kind of bothered by her. I really just wanted to listen to my ipod and be in my zone. It's hard for me to carry on a conversation as I am running. It soon became clear to me that she wasn't going anywhere so I reluctantly took off my ear buds and listened away. She ended up totally distracting me and helped me forget about how tired I was getting.
Passing the halfway point was exhilarating. I still felt pretty good and couldn't believe I was still going strong. I got to see Lee, my mom and the kids cheering me on which was huge motivation. Again, I felt carried by their love and support.
About mile 15 was when it started getting ugly. There was a huge (at least I thought so) uphill and the wind was really picking up. It was the first time during the race that I started to get discouraged. My little friend aka Jennifer, was still with me. In fact, we ended up running the whole race together and I now know that there is no way I could have finished that race without her. She kept me going by telling me stories and helped keep my mind off the pain. She without a doubt carried me throughout the race and I will forever be in debt to her. The problem is I am having a hard time tracking her down. Weird.
One of the coolest moments of the whole race came somewhere between mile 18 and 19. I was very discouraged because the wind was ruthless. I noticed two guys sitting on the dam as we crossed but didn't pay any attention to them until they jumped up and started running over to me. It was my brothers! Ryan, I thought was working and Eric lives in California for crying out loud! Why were they there right in front of me?! They completely surprised me and I lost it. I started bawling. They each gave me a huge hug and many words of encouragement. That moment carried me for many miles.
The last few miles of the race were brutal. Because my legs weren't accustomed to the pounding on the pavement they were really getting stiff and locking up. Every time I would stop to walk it was excruciating to start jogging again. Sometimes I could only think of putting one foot in front of the other over and over again. Sometimes I would try to jog for a minute, then walk for a minute and even that was hard.
I knew I wanted to run through the finish line but I wasn't sure how I was going to do it. I was SO beyond exhausted. Then I saw Eric up ahead. I told him that if he ran with me I could do it and that's just what he did. He bowed out at the last minute to give me my moment of glory, but pretty soon my kids jumped in and my niece and nephew joined us as well. We all crossed that finish line together. They carried me that last little bit of the marathon.
As soon as I crossed the finish line I fell apart. I was crying out of exhaustion, but mostly I was crying because I was so proud of myself. I had just fulfilled my dream of finishing a marathon. It didn't matter to me that my time wasn't the greatest. I did it...and without even running one mile during my training. It was a miracle!
I have learned so much because of this experience. I can indeed do hard things. Heavenly Father truly hears and answers my prayers. And because I put my faith and trust in Him when I did all I could do, He carried me when times got tough. The craziest thing out of all this, besides the fact that I finished, was that I never felt my shin splints. Not even for a moment!
The cherry on top of this big ice cream sundae of a day was that I got to experience this race with my 73 year old dad. He has always been my hero and to be able to run with him (he actually smoked me) in his last marathon was
very special to me. This day truly was one of the best days of my entire life!
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